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I am gone, done, put petrol and a match to everyone. I am Kurtz and I have turned away from everything that makes a person good. I am at war with my own mind and if I said what I was thinking you would think that I had lost it this time. If I offered explanations they would barely break the silence and would leave behind no reasons as to why I am unfound, a lost plot, raging through the thick and heavy darkness of a bloodlust. I am Hyde swallowed whole by a poison that splits the mind, distorts flesh and bone. I don't care if it gets easier, I just want it over. I am Kurtz and I have turned away from everything that makes a person good. I am Hyde swallowed whole by a poison that rots the mind and splits apart the soul, flesh and bone.
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2. |
Two Bombs In A Box
03:23
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How the fuck did I not see this coming? I should have known two bombs in a box in London were bound to blow. Everyone's got faults, yeah and if you think you don't well that just proves my point and it's your biggest one. I fucking hate these guys that think they've got it all worked out. They don't have shit worked out, no they don't have shit worked out. Don't tell me loss is a part of life and it all moves on when I've lost that loving feeling, now it's gone. I've lost that loving feeling, now it's gone, gone, gone.
(Last line taken from the Righteous Brothers - You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling).
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Take these legs, they won't last. They won't always carry us so far. As our strength, it starts to fade and the slowing of our hands gains pace. She would always be the answer, always be the cure and I thought that if I ever got my shit together I could try to be hers. When it's hot as hell and the pressure kills do you turn to diamond or break and melt? When it's hot as hell I break and melt. We've all got routines. Mine goes coffee, alcohol, codeine, repeat. It helps me burn through work, eat and sleep knowing that I'm never going to get more time than now. You never get more time than now. She would always be the answer, always be the cure. From this point on I don't give a fuck about anything, I don't give a fuck about anyone.
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4. |
The Clarity Of Morning
04:06
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A master actor, a perfect liar, all smiles played out with expert timing. It starts like rust, slow and silent but grows like fire, swift and violent. I walk much slower now I've got no direction. All bends are blind, all cracks chasms. I love and hate in equal measures the freedom from precision that living like this offers, but habits are so easily formed and not so easily forgotten. It's nothing that some wine can't sort out, hit the offy, back a bottle, drop two sleeping pills and hope to pass out. The run has got me spinning around and down and out. I hate the person I've become. Hate the foil, hate the filters, hate the blister packs but I won't stop. The run has got me spinning around and down and out, praying that the clarity of morning brings a peace to ease the mourning of a loss of control as two lives split in half from a whole. She'd say 'I miss you when you're gone' and I would wish that I was off anywhere else. I'm sorry, when I said I didn't love you what I meant was I hate myself.
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