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7" (2010)

by Apologies, I Have None

/
1.
Give me east london summer, give me under the radar and i'm done. My name is no longer low level worker i'm gone. I'm gone where bank accounts have no weight, where the 26 takes me all the way past landlords and managers, where i only move in straight lines forward now. I only move in straight lines forward now. And i'm taking this lesson with me - the worst mistake to make is to be afraid to make mistakes. I can't believe this took so long to learn, it should be so obvious, like a man cannot be measured by the number of people he's fucked, like numbers on a payslip are no indication of worth. My relationship with reality, it comes and goes and we rarely see eye to eye. (The last line is from a Grade song from the album Under The Radar. We didn't write this line and we didn't ask permission to use it)
2.
I can hear it all from outside, the choked up sounds of another night. I'm breathing deep through clenched teeth, watching my steps carefully. These concrete slabs and kurb cuts are looking more familiar by now and the words escape me, I can't drag them up to say "I'm sorry". There's no excuses. We had such high hopes but it's always difficult to keep everything balanced, to not leave anything behind. It's so hard to fall apart when there's nowhere you'd rather land, so this is it: the choices that we made, like not giving up just yet. I'm not giving up. Sometimes what it takes is to listen to what you say and try to hear it, to try to feel it.

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released April 1, 2010

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Apologies, I Have None London, UK

Black Everything

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